I'm cold....

I went home alone.Robin needed to return to Jack. I'm not sure how she felt about what happened last night. I was woken up by a knock at the door way too early. Leanne was there, the fairy girl who Chantelle had been banging. She said she wanted to walk me to school. I accepted, though I was way too tired for it. As we walked, we talked about things. I didn't know how much Chantelle had told her in their pillow talk, but she made it clear that we'd talk again. Then Israel showed up and accused me of making new friends, rather coldly in fact. I told him it was none of his business and I supposed it would be easier if I cut them in half or set them on fire. Israel looked guilty, but he gave me a look that made me think of his supposed "divine retribution"from the night in the club where he had turned all Sephiroth on me. Israel is dangerous.

In class, I wanted to know the truth behind the fairies, but my coin was snatched by Leanne, who I warned about the last person who'd taken it, whose face had been demolished by the park bench. Before she had grabbed it, I saw blood and flood, violence and danger. All coming to us soon.

I went to Robins event "Teens Need Truth". Robin spoke partway through of wanting to go to the city hall and deal with Natalie. I agreed, trying to think of a time when I could speak to her about Natalies run in with me. Not in school. I'm not stupid. 

At the city hall, I learned what Natalie meant to do. A law. A new law making supernaturals citizens. Natalie mentioned our little spat with the knife and Robin looked shocked. She went to make a call and soon returned, grabbing my hand and that of that girl Eve and dragging us to the fire escape. Natalie blocked our way, but Robin decked her. Robin seemed scared and we were halfway down the alley when Eve grabbed Robin and slammed her into the wall. 

I stood there, shocked, unable to comprehend. She hit Robin. She....hit....Robin. I felt the wolf in me stir as I made my own attack, punching out at Eve. Robin was on her feet in an instant and leapt into the way. I felt my heart shatter as I saw her take the hit and stand there, unyielding. Eve was attacking her and Robin was standing in my way like I was using my power to attack a helpless bunny. Eve gloatingly smiled at me behind Robins back and I begged Robin to step aside. Robin refused and I saw something I had never seen in her eyes before. Rage. Murderous unfeeling rage. And I knew I had to knock her out and get her out of there or she would not stop hunting me.

I tried, but I had taught her well. She knew how to dodge, how to duck, how to feint and attack. Soon enough, the wolves had surrounded us. But so had a gang of Natalies vampires. And Robin wouldn't back down. I was proud of her, but also hurt. We had been friends. We had laughed and talked, been there for each other and spent one night together. Now she thought I was trying to kill Eve because I was a wolf? Wrong. I wanted to kill Eve because of that smell. That empty, hollow smell, like the inside of a coffee can, bitter and cold. Then thunder struck. I realized why Robin had wanted to leave. That troll. That huge fucking troll was there and he slammed his hulk hands into me. I felt my body change, defending itself the only way it knew how. I had kept it in since the club and now, because of Robin and Eve and Bonesnapper, it was free. Robin was knocked flying, but I was past caring for anything but my own strength and power. My claws weren't nearly sharp enough to pierce his hide and my wolves were failing at beating Eve, (whose jokes were the same as always.WEAK!), so I showed my belly falsely, pretending to fall in line and I followed Bonesnapper, a scavenge for the moment. Waiting for another chance to deal with the beast....

In which a spirit connection is formed, or, In which the mortal goes wild.

I went to see Robin. It was the right thing to do, she probably had been worried about me after I left the burger joint. For some reason, I felt happy for that. Its nice knowing someone cared for you and was there if you needed them. I'd be there for her if she needed me and I didn't have to bother her for my dumb problems.

JJ and I said see you later and I walked out to where Robin sat next to a boy. The boy I recognized as Jack. Her ghost brother. No longer a ghost. I didn't understand it, but I saw something I hadn't seen since before the funeral, before the fairy world, before Robin and I had become friends or she had even known my name. Happiness. It was there on her face as she laughed and talked to her brother, as she held him close and stared at him unblinking, as if she was afraid that when she closed her eyes or turned away, he would be gone. I couldn't fault her for that. I wish I could say I just walked away, that I simply let her have her moment with Jack, that I was not selfish or needy, but I needed to see her. And I did, walking up to her on the stairs. She asked about the blood, but I insisted it was nothing she had to worry about yet. I reminded Jack who I was and where we had met, how he had been a ghost and Robin looked at me with a warmth in her eyes I had not seen but for Vincent. I told her how glad I was for her to see her happy and she did something that surprised me. She stood up, walked down her front steps and hugged me tight. I felt her press against me, warm and sweet and alive and her scent was intoxicating. I felt like I was going to kiss her then, hold her close and inhale her scent forever, but not with her brother watching. I told her how I had smelled the scents of fear, apprehension and guilt and they increased in an instant. I could hear her heart pounding and smell the sheen of sweat on her smooth skin and she said I was mistaken, a bit hurriedly, I noticed. I decided that I would leave it alone. Robin doesn't need any more worries on her plate. Knowing I can smell her must make her a bit nervous. Jack made a mention of leaving us alone and Robin pulled away. I let her only grudgingly. She was nervous as a Chihuahua as she talked to Jack, letting him know he wouldn't be leaving her sight again. She said she wanted to go on a walk with me, but she was of two minds. Half of her wanted to walk and talk with me, half of her wanted to stay with her brother and protect him from all harm. She told him to lock himself inside and only open up for her and then she took my hand and walked with me down the street.

We talked of different things, dumb things, things that weren't important and we were enjoying it. We avoided Vincent, Natalie and even Chantelle and the new girl, which I was grateful for and talked music, new movies and shows each of us had to watch. The time came that we walked through the woods and I was talking about something. For the life of me, I can't remember what it was. Then Robin pushed me up against a tree and kissed me deeply and passionately. I felt her lips on mine, and then we were on the forest floor, undressing, kissing, nipping, touching, giving each other our all. Robin...everywhere was Robin. Her scent, her taste, her love. Her love most of all was there.

Under the trees, I felt the bond form, a spiritual connection, more powerful than anything Vincent could ever have had with her, as strong as the brand of links of the chain burned into my skin, which Robin kisses at as she lies against me, her smells too strong to tell apart. I was the worthy one, the loved one. They all called me puppy, doggie, wolfboy. I'd be her dog if she let me. I'd be whatever she wanted me to be. I'll be a wolf, a dog or even a human.

I'm in love with her. I know I am.

In which the decision is made(for better or worse).

Caleb. Wolfboy. Dog. Puppy. These are the names that the group(apart from Robin, bless her heart)call me. Trying to insult me. To be cruel. To get me angry and laugh as I suppress the beast within. Even Eve, whoever the hell she is. What business is it of hers what I am? And how does she know?

 I didn't feel the cold air as JJ drove fast and far, following my directions to the house, with the other werewolves behind me. This is my pack. Not Eve. Not Chantelle. Not Israel. And not Vincent. NEVER Vincent. The Pack is family. And the only person who has shown themselves to be my family are JJ and Robin. They care about me. I hope they do.

I sent the werewolves to surround the place. It was almost dark, when vampires were strongest. I needed to be quick and finish this. As I cradled the handle of the knife, I remembered how Robins mother had looked as her lifes blood dripped through her fingers. I only wish Vincent was here to see what I did to his mother.

I put my foot through the door and entered. Natalie was there, along with some guy. I made some excuse about official business and told him not to get in the way. Natalie made some small talk and tried to look into my eyes. I felt my mind burn and my fingers twitch and I struggled to keep in control. I struck then, my pack with me. Once, twice, three times the blade flew. Natalie fought back, but I was in a rage. I stabbed into her chest, the blade lodged there. I could feel it slide between her rib cage. A simple twist sideways and up and she'd be dead. The knife was there. My hand was there. I was so strong. I was stronger than Vincent, Natalie, *I*was the hero! Not that sword wielding shit Israel, not Vincent with his mind games, me! And then I felt the past stir.

I was younger. A moon hung in the sky as I transform for the first time, my eyes glowing scarlet in the darkness of my bedroom mirror. Later, a golden chain burns my hands permanently with the pattern of the links as I kill the first girl I ever loved, strangling her to protect others from her. I know the feeling of wanting freedom to do what you wish, the same that Vincent got when he merged with the demon. It happens every time I transform, the freedom to fight, hunt, kill, take what you want and give nothing back.

I thought of Robin, beautiful, full of love that was now hidden behind a miasma of pain and protectiveness. I thought of vengeance, trying to justify my actions, but I knew that if Robin saw me now, she would hate me, as I would be no different than Vincent, the one she loved and hated. And what happened after Natalie died? Would the vampires be free to roam and feed? Would the werewolves be the same or worse? And who would be the ones to deal with them if not us? The vampires were a danger, yes, but they also kept the balance. I gave my threat "You owe me"and was gone into the night. JJ seemed to understand, but the others...they're not my pack, so I don't know what they feel. Not yet.

In which the dog bites back.

As I sat in the car next to Robin in silence, the smells begin to reach me. Fear. Apprehension. Anger. Hatred. Guilt...that same smell, more overpowering than all the others. Is it ever going to leave her? Robin feels guilty for her removal of Vincents' past, her inability to save her mother and about her friendship with us, the monsters. I wondered why we were going to save Vincent if she didn't care...or does she NOT care? I want more than anything for Robin to be able to move on with her life, to be happy and free of all the terrible things that have happened to her. Vincent, her mother, Jack, the fairies...I would even remove myself if I had to. Yet sitting in the car with her was the most painful thing I've done yet. Once in a while, she'd glance over at me and meet my eyes and there'd be something there. A spark of warmth, a bit of kindness and, despite myself, I thought i saw care. Care and love.

Soon enough the ride was over and we were out in the boonies at some fancy summer home of Vincents mother, I guess. He came running out the door, followed by some weird girl and as quick as that, we had got the two of them away. Still in silence, we drove and I smelled the new scents. Vincent doesn't have the same wrong smell he had when he had the demon in him. Now he has something new. Another dark power? No, its something new, not corruption, but its nothing good if it can throw me through a car. As for the new girl, Eve, I think it was....she smells empty. I don't understand how that can be, but its almost like she's not there.

At a burger joint down the road, me and Vincent got into it, arguing away. Eve called me a puppy(really, everyone is a comedian, that joke is so old that I'm surprised it hasn't disappeared).Vincent called me a kidnapper while I called him a monster. I'm keeping the truth from him as long as I can, but eventually it will be there. I threw a punch at Vincent, but ended up hitting a police car instead. The cop gave us a stern warning and left. Just another time that Vincent gets me into trouble. He makes me sick to my stomach. Or maybe its the headache that seems to come as he gets close. He looked at Robin and I saw her eyes go unfocused before she gave him a massive punch. He tried to put the mind trick on her too! All around me, stuff begins to shake and streetlights flicker as Vincent goes all Dark Phoenix....then he's gone, blown through the air by his own power. Weird, but kinda funny at the same time. Soon enough, I realized I wasn't alone. JJ had arrived and I told him where Vinces mom was. The vampire boss, right there for the taking. And Jack said it was time for us to take her down. I realized that to do this, I'd have to go with them and leave Robin behind, but she was with that nasty alien goddess and the new girl, so she would be fine. I gazed longingly after her before I climbed onto the back of JJ's bike and we rode off.

Vincent had killed Robins mom, all for love of some demon creature inside him. He had become addicted to the power, he had come to love it and he let it overtake him. I had failed Robin that day. I wasn't quick enough to save her mother. Jack got in the way before I could stop Vincent from doing any worse damage and she got survivors guilt when it was me who was at fault. I had grabbed a butcher knife from cooking class before we left the school(they're making pad thai, they won't miss one knife). Its sharp. I'm sure Natalie will appreciate it.

Mad Caleb or "Vincie"

I made a new friend. Werewolf guy, John Junior. I decided to leave Robin alone now. Better that I branch out before she gets hurt. We decided to hang out after school. The werewolf attack had failed and Vincents mom was fine. I told him to keep me out of their war and he agreed. During class, I was sitting talking to John when Vincent heard about Deans friend getting set on fire. From Dean. Who reminded him of it. Now, Vincent had forgotten everything to do with those events, so he began getting a bit weird. I stepped in, trying to cut off Dean, telling Vincent he was a compulsive liar and he was better off ignoring him. When Vincent made eye contact with me....well, it was weird. Like a hand inside my brain, squeezing and tugging at it. He called me a liar and ran off with a nosebleed(which I didn't give him). I shivered and ran to find Chantelle.

Tobias found me first and gave me a big old silver coin. He said it was to replace the one that I had given up. It was very similar and so I thanked him for the gesture. I began telling Chantelle about it and she pulled me and Tobias into a closet. I explained what was happening with Vincent and she began blathering about me stealing something from from him. I was about to do as she said when Israel showed up with it. She began making a weird circle and I decided to remove myself. I thought she was a god or alien, not some wiccan.

Me and John Junior went to hang out and he told me about Boris, a mobster, and his daughter Sasha. Apparently she was drug dealing some dangerous stuff around the school. We began plotting a little warning(non violent, I've been trying to cut back on that) and planned to meet her before school.

I met her in the hallways early the next day. Sasha is very pretty, but she was also poisoning kids, so I tried to use the carrot instead of the ten inch wolf claw. I did my best James Dean pose and she was all over me. I lead her to the car and John sat up from the back seat, starting to tie her up. I heard "HEY!" and felt my blood chill. Maybe broad daylight wasn't the best idea, but I wanted this done fast.

Vincent was running towards us and I exited the car while John held Sasha there. He demanded to know what I was doing and I told him I wanted to explain, and, when he became belligerant, I gave him to the count of three(see? I am becoming more tame). I got as far as 1 before Vince sent me flying through the car doors. Both of them. With his mind. I sat up bleeding and wiped at my nose as Vincent told JJ to let Sasha go and he obliged. Sasha thanked him and he told her to run to the principal. I snarled to my feet and asked what the hell he had done and he called me a kidnapper, a freak and all sorts of cruel words. The rest of the group was around us and I felt my cheeks burn as he called me all these things while the others took his side. I couldn't even look at Robin, afraid of seeing disappointment in her eyes or hate or fear and pain. What I didn't expect was, as Vincents eyes began to get that "Carrie" look again, was her moving in between us, cocking back her fist and slamming it into Vincents face.Vincent reeled and called me a kidnapper and Israel led him away, speaking quietly to him. It was clear whose side he had chosen. Robin, meanwhile, turned to me and dabbed at my lip with a tissue, asking if I was hurt. I felt my heart pounding fast again.

Inside, the group(except Robin, who listened to me rather than judge first)demanded my explanation. I told them of Sasha working with Boris(who Robin had heard of), of possible sources helping me(I kept JJ's involvement a secret, at least for now. I'll tell Robin, but the others need to get the sticks out of their asses first). Chantelle made some dog insults(very clever, I see why you read the announcements honey)to me and Robin told Vincent off for attacking me(she hadn't let go of my hand yet). I told her about his psychic power and that he was dangerous again. Chantelle stated that she had it under control, which made me wonder about that magic she has. Is she able to control everyone? Even me? Whats to stop her from taking over that way?


Vincent stormed off and we went to class. Ardath was missing, but that was no loss. I wondered if Robin was starting to feel better. That she needed more than a friend. Then I told myself to shut the hell up and think. A text rang out. For all of us. "Guys. Help me." Vincent was in trouble. Robin rose. Chantelle rose. Israel rose. And, like it or not, I rose. And I began dialling the gang. If he was on the road, he'd need some bikers. Like me.

Secrets.

Chantelle gave Robin a gift and a curse. Vincents demon was removed and trapped in a cylinder, a genie in the bottle. Vincent wanted to forget and Chantelle did it. He didn't remember Robin, me, Chantelle, Israel, Robins mom. I wonder who it was crueler to. I think I know the answer.

Robins mom died last week. Robin stayed with me a few days. Its okay, I had the room and she needed someone around, but her empty stares sometimes made me unnerved. Robin went to the funeral without me. She needed the friends she had before I came in and made her life more complicated. In the school, she has been cool towards everyone. I avoided touching her, even to get her attention. Puppy love isn't something she needs, I can tell by her demeanour. Before the incidents with Vincent, I had begun to feel something with her. I'm a selfish piece of shit for wanting her now. When she asked me to help her, to train her to fight against something...like me, I did it. She's stronger than she looks. She's braver than she seems. And she's more loving than she acts. She told me not to hold back and I didn't.I bruised ribs, stung her arms and at least once cracked a bone, but she didn't call halt then. She didn't tell me stop or glare at me with hate. She only had determination in her eyes. Determination and something else. We talk about Jack, her brother, the ghost. She smiles at times when I talk about him, but its a sad smile. I listen to her story(what she chooses to tell)and give my support. I feel like she gives me little gestures that mean something special, like a touch to the arm or a little cock of the head. Once she touched my hair. Am I deluding myself? Probably. Everyone deludes themselves. Vincent deluded himself believing he will forget everything forever. Ardath deluded himself of his supposed greatness. Chantelle deludes herself thinking she can keep control of a school as fucked up as this. Israel deludes himself thinking he will be human. Robin deludes herself thinking that being alone will make her stronger. And I delude myself thinking Robin will ever care about me. But there is something else happening. Its been bothering me, like a mosquito around my ear.

Robins mother was stable. Comatose, but stable. She died with Robin in the room. Robin said she went to the bathroom and came back and the nurses were trying to stabilize her again. But the nurses told me that she rang the bell to call them in. And no matter what, I can smell something on Robin. Apprehension. Fear. Guilt. If I'm right, then she has secrets. But everyone does. I'll die a million times over before I reveal hers.

He didn't even buy me dinner or "Eye for an eye".

One of the worst things in the world is group assignments. You know that? We are saddled with a bunch of robotic babies to take care of, look after and act like parents. I'm not sure I'm ready to be a parent(though I'd probably be a poppa wolf if I was). I'm looking for Robin(who chooses pretty boy Ardath)when the teacher puts me together with Vincent. Vincent, who I hate. Vincent, who emotionally brutalized Robin. Vincent, who stabbed Robins mother half to death and she is still in critical condition. So I sit there, holding the baby and trying to keep the wolf at bay. Vincent doesn't say anything and I don't say anything as well. I think we came to an understanding of how things had to be.

At lunch, I met a guy. Big biker who said he was the one behind my enrolment here, who paid my bills so I could live in my fancy house. He said that it was about time I began paying him back. I asked how and he said that the werewolves(he's a werewolf, fyi) wanted to get rid of a dangerous vampire who just happens to be Vincents mom. I remembered Vincent, his eyes inhuman, standing over Robins mother with the knife, laughing away. She needs to die. He needed to suffer for it. Eye for an eye.

Later, I got guided to the church by the group. They were preparing for a ritual, something to rid Vincent of his demon forever. When I heard this, my heart stopped. A wonderful happily ever after, wouldn't it be? Robin and Vincent, the princess and prince of the story, happy and content, human. Meanwhile the wolf is chased away to live in the foothills, no longer part of the princesses life. No longer needed. No longer cared for. I've kept my feelings to myself. I was stupid to think she'd ever choose someone like me.

Halfway through the ritual, imps appear. Attacking and burning things, trying to disrupt it. Probably sent by Samael. I answer their attack with my boots, keeping the baby safe. Vincent was selfishly sitting in his magic circle, so he didn't give a shit.

During the ritual, Vincent begins contorting and twisting. Everyone gives a token to rid him of the demon. I saw Robin, tearful, terrified and her eyes full of care. Thats when I realized.

Robin doesn't want me and she doesn't need me. She loved Vincent and she deserves to be happy.

I pulled the silver coin from my pocket. It was heavy, as big as my palm and had a silver moon engraved on the side. I smiled softly. Silver and werewolves. They had it all wrong. I tossed it into the fire, my offering to whatever powers there were at work, praying for the first time ever, to give Robin peace, give her happiness, give her love that she deserved and free the boy she loved.

Goodbye dad.

In which a new friendship is made and trust is established.

As I arrived, Robin was exiting the hospital. She looked like she had been through a wringer and wanted nothing to do with me. I decided to say my piece and go. She didn't want me around and she didn't need me. I told her about her brother and what had happened. She stared at me, confused and upset. I gave a promise that if she asked, I would leave her alone for good. As my last question, I asked if she was okay. And I felt her pain in the one look she gave me, I could tell she wanted nothing more than to break down and cry. But she didn't. She's strong because she has to be. I couldn't imagine all this happening to her. But when she spoke to me next, she didn't say leave me alone. She asked me to come with her to check something out. And, after a moment, I agreed.

She drove the car down to a book shop. I didn't say a thing, not wanting to bother her. Poor Robin. I wish I could simply turn away, find someone else to follow around. I want her to be happy and i want her to be safe and protected, but I also want her to be strong. But who the hell am I to tell someone how to be? I just joined the group two days ago and the group seems to be almost disbanded. Israel arrested, Vincent in the hospital(and most likely arrested), Chantel in the fairy world, Robin distraught. I don't know where Ardath is....

Inside the shop, it smelled of old books and parchment. Thats the smell I love the best. Robin asked about books on supernatural creatures and the owner looked at me oddly, telling Robin I was a werewolf. She said she knew and he said that he would help her, but only if I would put on a pair of handcuffs. They were gold and I stepped back, the skin on my palms tingling from the last encounter I had with gold. Robin held up the cuffs as she approached me, her eyes wet, but also determined. I saw real strength there as she told me that if she wanted her to trust me, I'd put them on. I was going to tell her about the gold, how much it hurt, how it burned my skin like fire, but at our eye contact, I simply held out my hands and left her close the cuffs tightly on my wrists as I suffered in silence, my skin blackening at the metals touch. Robin thanked me though. I think that helped a bit.

The bookstore owner, Elliot, gave her a fancy book and told her to call him once a week to let him know she was alive. I worried a bit about that, but I kept quiet. Then Chantel and Israel walked in. The rest was a blur as Chantel was forgiven for something she did to Elliot sixteen years ago(which is, what,when she was a baby?!) I felt Robins anger burning beside me and I saw Tobias standing inside with us. Israel and Tobias were very high. Robin confronted Chantel about her leaving us behind in the Fae realms and she got me uncuffed and lead my by the hand out. I felt my heart beating very fast as I felt Robins own pulse from her wrist as we left the angel and the whatever behind. And soon I realized that her pulse was not for me, but for the book she held. Of course, I'm getting my strength back as the werewolf. I could have been sensing anything....but I wonder.

The Ghost and the Darkness.

The cop walked up, told Robin she was speeding. And Robin broke down, crying, saying that she was just a girl, whimpering and making a scene. The cop, apparently soft despite being a Toronto cop, said she was off the hook and offered to escort her to her house. She agreed, even though we were a block away. We got to the door and Robin ran inside, with me close behind. Vincent was standing over Robins mother, a knife in his hand. He smelled....wrong. Like meat gone bad thats been cooked and burnt black. His eyes weren't like Vincent and he had blood on the knife. I knew what I had to do. And it was going to hurt if I had anything to say about it.

I yelled at Vincent, shouting, trying to snap him out of it. "Think about Robin Vincent! Don't do this! She TRUSTED you! She TRUSTED you!" I shouted as he brandished the knife, about to plunge the blade into her abdomen again. So I ran at him. And was slammed aside. I hit the wall, pinned there by an unseen force as I struggled and fought, trying to stop him as he crept forward, as unVincentish as possible. Suddenly, the force abated and I tackled Vincent hard, roaring in rage, in hatred, at his cruelty, at the pain he was causing Robin, at the unfairness of the world that she had chosen him. He hit the ground hard and was knocked out. I held back, wanting nothing more than to finish him off while he was weak. But Robin was watching and she was tearfully kneeling by her mother as I shouted at the cops to get an ambulance.

Robin clambered into the ambulance with her mom and Vincent as I sadly watched her leave. She gave me an endearing smile as the doors closed, slamming shut and cutting off our eye contact. Lighting up a ciggarette, I realized I wasn't alone. The person with me didn't give off any smell, which is why he surprised me. He talked to me as I smoked and said thanks for saving my mom. I was surprised that he was Robins brother, but not too surprised he was dead. He said he was the one who tossed me aside and he was trying to protect his mother, so I forgave him for that. I asked if there was anything I could do to help and he said that he needed Robin to know about his existence. I promised I would and he disappeared(but I expect he'll be back). I didn't have anything else to do, so I decided to hike to the hospital. Robin needed to have someone around who wasn't psychotic.

In Which a Betrayal is Felt and a Friendship is Broken.

When I got back, Robin was finishing a story. Her eyes had a sad, haunted look in it and I had to fight the urge to go to her, to hold her hand. She's Vincents. She's not going to be mine. I had figured that out by now. I told her that I was sorry and I was sure Vincent would be here to help her soon. But for some reason, that didn't comfort her. If anything, it made her look sadder. She wouldn't even look at me. I guess I only hurt people. I'm no good at looking after them. Vincent should have been here. Where the hell was he?

The troll picked us up on his back and carried us when Chantel stated she wanted to face Leanne(which, I guess, is the fancily dressed fae woman) and we were taken to her presence. She was beautiful and frightening. Even my inner wolf was creeped out. Chantel said truth or dare to Leanne and Leanne asked about a book. I was confused when Chantel pulled one out. I didn't recognize it, but Robin did, because she gasped in horror and I HEARD her heartbeat pick up. I felt excitement, anger. Betrayal. Nostalgia. This book was Robins and Chantel had stolen it. I had to fight the urge to transform and tear Chantels book arm off. Leanne made an offer for our freedom. That Chantel sleep with her.

Robin screamed at Chantel, saying that it was a bad idea. How fucked up it was , I could tell that her heart was breaking, but I remained silent. If I was Vincent, I would have been able to convince Chantel. I would have been able to be there for Robin. But I'm not. Chantel and Leanne walked off together and the troll showed up. He offered to carry us back and we were free. I tried to give a word of comfort and kindness to Robin, but I don't think she heard me. The troll raised a gate and we entered. The troll was with us, back in Toronto(I could tell by the smell). The troll was a huge biker guy now. And Robin...I nearly teared up as she begged him to promise not to kill anyone. He agreed, but only if he was the one she called if she wanted someone dead. And she promised him that.

We went to grab Chantels keys. With her in Neverland, she sure as hell doesn't need them. Dean showed up and he looked fine, despite being the Human Torch the last time we saw him. He was talking to me, saying that Israel, Robin, Vincent, all of them...that they were weak, that I was strong and I didn't need them, that I should leave them behind. I told him the truth. They were freaks, monsters, oddballs....but they were the only friends I had. And good or bad times, I was sticking with them.

Robin and I got in the car as she called Vincent. She seemed scared and she was asking where he was. I tried to listen in using my senses, but I was cut off as a bunch of bikers encircled the car. Robin sped off fast, leaving them behind as we drove...I guess towards her house. The cops then showed up. What the hell were we going to do?

Everything's beautiful....in the green.

The most amazing forest I had ever seen. Beautiful. Huge. Old. I could feel it even if I had lost my wolfish senses. It was amazing and huge and I wanted to see every part. Robin was there and Chantel with us. I didn't know where Israel and Vincent were and I didn't care. I tried to offer Robin help up, but Robin shrugged me off. I guess I still unnerved her. I tried to ask her why she was treating me like a bad guy, I had apologized and I had lost part of myself. I showed her the scar across my stomach from getting cut in half and Robin got....flustered. She blushed anyway. I don't know what feelings she was having with my senses gone, but I felt she was coming over.

As we walked, I saw it. A bridge and down below, a pool of water. Over it, the moon, unbelievably, was reflected. The phases of the moon passed and went and I knew I had the power, to become my wolf form again. All I had to do was bathe in the waters. Wash away the dust. As I approached the river, something huge came up. It was big. It had skin like stone. It was a troll, no question. As his very manner threatened violence, I tried to use fairy tale logic, saying my brother, who was slightly bigger, would come soon if he let me by. But he was obviously well versed in the myth, as he laughed off my story. Robin tried to grab me, to convince me to stay human and there was definite warmth in her touch and worry in her eyes and I felt my stomach flip flop a little, but I also knew something else. That without the wolf, I wouldn't be worthy of anyones notice. So, though it killed me, I pulled myself from her grasp and faced the troll. He said he would let me pass if I became like him, merged with him, became a were troll. But I wasn't going to let him lay the rules down. So I ran to the pool and washed the dust away, bathing away the cursed fairy dust. And suddenly I smelled everything. I could smell the forest, the water, the air. And it was beautiful.

Holy Fire.

I walked around alone. My smokes were gone, but then I remembered it didn't make a difference. I wasn't trying to dull any senses anymore. I was without wolfishness. When I got to the school, deciding to sit and think, Dean and that other kid, whats his name, were there. Which was weird, because I was pretty sure Dean was dead on the bathroom floor earlier. Dean was asking a lot of questions and for some reason, I talked a lot. About Robin. About what she had done to me with that poof of dust, which I'm now fairly certain wasn't cocaine. The sun came up while we talked. I decided to go to school cause, why the hell not?

Israel came in, wingless, and he seemed to be more than a little surprised that I wasn't dead, sliced in half by his blow. I shrugged it off. He was acting odd and I definitely was feeling off because of what had happened the night before. Besides, I was hungry as hell, realizing food was a factor once more, just like cold and death. Robin showed up and she looked pissed at me. What the hell did I do? I guess Dean talked to her about what she had done and she was pissed. Dean was telling off Robin. Vincent pushed him and Dean pushed him back, knocking Robin into me and I couldn't help but enjoy the split second of contact before she bumped her head and then she was on her feet again. And then Israel let loose. He...shot fire.From his hands. And Dean ran away screaming and burning as the sprinklers went off. I stood there as people ran off down the hall, drenched and cold. I was unsure what the hell I was going to do. I decided to tell Vincent. He had a right to know about what his girlfriend was up to...right?

Vincent, when I told him, didn't tell me off. Didn't tell me I was crazy or stupid or laugh. He listened and he seemed to agree that we had to talk to Robin, that she had taken something from HIM too. He doesn't look like a vampire. Is he a zombie? We found her in the sound room that weird Chantel girl is in charge of. We confronted her and I told her off, saying that she had taken away part of me, that she was wrong. And then she started crying. And everyone there bitches me out. Chantel tells me I was wrong to do it, Vincent says that Robin was right to dust him and Izzy starts asking if she's able to make him human. The hell? They were all close to losing their powers and they were treating her like a child, someone to protect. She's NOT a child. She's stronger than she looks. She makes her own choices and she's strong enough to face the music for what she's done. But not while Vincent is babying her and Chantel is shouting at me and Israel is looking like a lost puppy.

She mentioned someone named Red Cap and everyone looked nervous. Nervous, to say the least. Vincent was saying about hunting him down. Some fancily dressed woman who smelled a tiny bit like that dust I had been hit with talked about him killing people, and Chantel talked about some guy named Mr.White, who I guess is a friend of Israel, making him another angel(I swear, I talk with this group for a half hour and everything explodes). Robin was crying into Vincents shoulder and I was torn between anger, guilt for making her cry and wanting to hold her to me and comfort her. But all her friends were there.

Chantel took the role of mother hen then, telling the fancy dressed woman that it was her fault Red Cap was free and Robin was under her own protection.

When we stepped out of the school, a man in white(Mr. White, I presume)demanded Israel hand over a gun, a special gun. And Israel fired the gun and cops showed up. I ran. Towards the school with Robin, with Chantel. That woman was there. And then the school was gone. Everything was gone. Where the hell are we?

Secrets,Fairy Dust and Betrayal.

I was alive. I knew I would be when I jumped at the multi winged freak. I can't die. The curse has rules, like all things. My transformation, my weaknesses. I don't know if a weapon MADE of gold needs to be used to kill me or I need to swallow wolfsbane or what. But I've tried normal razor blades, a jump into traffic and finally a noose. All that achieved was a dirty bathtub, bumps and bruises(which lasted for all of five minutes)and a sore neck. Then I had to get back down again.

I woke up on a rooftop, naked and alone. From where I was, I could hear the sirens, see the red and blue flashing lights. It was night still, but was it the SAME night? Then I saw them. Papers. Lots of them, warning me of the Carrion Eaters, saying a lone wolf dies. I didn't know what to make of them, but some pants were left there for me as well, so I was grateful to the creeps for doing it.

I still had my coin, so I let it spin. I needed to find Robin, she had run off, I needed to explain, had to make sure she was okay. Turns out I made a terrible mistake. I saw her. I recognized the street. I took off.

When I arrived, Robin was standing there. She looked upset. Angry. But also determined. She had a scent of excitement, a nervousness to her eyes, but also one of the oddest things I've ever smelled. It was a mix of things. Robins hair, but intensified. Allison's perfume. Mint. Fresh blood. Steak. And a mix of thousands of other things all in one, it was so odd. I tried to ask Robin how she was, apologize for scaring her with my monster form. She simply reached into a bag she carried with her and blew dust into my face. The smells intensified and then they stopped. All of them. I could barely smell anything. I asked Robin what had happened. My connection to the moon was gone. I couldn't see in the dark, couldn't smell someone on the other side of town, couldn't believe that I couldn't hear the police across town. I asked her what she had done and she simply backed away. Suddenly, a door appeared from nowhere and Vincent was just THERE. He grabbed her and pulled her through and they were gone, leaving me alone. And I began to feel my heart pound, realizing how cold it was out. How lonely. Lone wolves die. But i wasn't a wolf anymore. I wasn't anything. And if I died again, it would be for good.

Wolf in the Fold.

Dressed in my(second)best suit, black with red undershirt, I walked into the club with the group. All were dressed fancy. We weren't carded for drinks or for anything like that. Vincent and Robin seemed...close. How close is still depending. We get our drinks and wait.

Mr. Scott has gone into the VIP lounge upstairs. Robin excuses herself to go to the bathroom. The noise of the place was intense, but the smells...booze, sweat, arousal...all crashed down on me. I wish this was a smoking bar. At least when I'm smoking I can numb some of the smells. Then one of the group mentions that Robin went upstairs. Like idiots we run headfirst into the trap. We freeze. We can't move. A group of people, waving their hands and chanting in some ancient language. Chantelle seemed to recognize some of them.

Then, something snaps in me. I'm not something that can be contained. I can't be bullied, beaten or cowed. I let the wolf out of its cage, ripping my shirt off and shedding my human form. My hair grows. My eyes go completely blue. My legs bend and claws extend. My jaws contort and grow lupine. My teeth grow.

Israel transforms, growing enormous wings, the spirit of wrath. Robin is running for the door, Ardath seems to grow more beautiful. I charge forward, growling and towering over normal men and screaming women and slash at Mr. Scott, who is leaking dark energy like a sieve. My claws rake him, but soon I realize he is not the greatest threat, the one who is the strongest, the one I must dominate to show my strength. I turn to face Israel. An angel on earth, a true challenge, something to show that I am the pack leader. I leap at him....and never connect. He strikes out, knocking me through the wall. I feel my back break and my neck snap as  I strike a rooftop miles away. I wake up the next morning naked, but alive. The curse does not let you die. Believe me, I've tried.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most fucked up of all?

Israel drives a big circle back to the school(which I am less than pleased about, but he says he has to see that his friends are okay). In the locker room, I find Chantelle, Robin, Vincent(a weird, but creepy rich kid whose parents died in a fire before the break, who also hung around with that handsome parkour kid Low Key and Israel) and Ardath. All from my class, all circled around a dead body. Dean. Also on the team, he just...lay there. Whatever had happened to him was bad.


I gave my news, that Mr.Scott was acting weird and he had become a shadow monster. Robin seemed less than happy that I was there, saying that outsiders could reveal "secrets",which confused me. Israel vouched for me, saying that I had seen Mr.Scott and I was a part of this now. Nobody else seemed bothered by me being there and they called an ambulance to get Deans body. But not before they discussed dealing with Mr. Scott, who had become a threat to them. They showed a picture from a phone, which was of me in the lockers in a state of undress, which made me angry to say the least. Ardath discussed getting some help from "Robin",which seemed odd, as Robin was right there, but Vincent bowled over him, asking for help from "Sammy". Which confused me, until I realized he must be batshit insane, since he was talking to his reflection(at least half of a conversation anyway). He mentioned a book and that Mr. Scott was taking it to a club. Israel asked if I was in to take down the teacher.

Take down a pedophile shadow freak? Count me in.

Silver and Shadow.

The smell permeates me. It disturbs and discomfits me. I want to know if other people have been less lucky with Mr.Scott. So I do my coin trick.

I find an isolated area in the schoolyard, sit down and spin the coin. It's sort of odd. When I spin the coin and stare at it, sometimes I see things in it. The coin doesn't stop spinning until the vision is done. The full moon on it lights up like a beacon only I can see and shows me...visions. Of people. Of things. I tried to use this once to look for the person/thing who cursed me. No luck yet, but as I spin the coin, a hand slams down and grabs it.

Speak of the devil. It's Mr.Scott and he laughs at my anger as he tosses the coin from hand to hand. I bare my teeth and tell him to give it back, that it means a lot to me. He takes this as a joke and asks what I would give him for it. I tell him his teeth and I flex my fists, ready. Mr. Scott beckons, laughing still....and tells me to come get it. So I argue my point.

My argument is simple...a strong right cross to the face,but with a bit of wolfish strength behind it, which demolishes his teeth and puts his face through the bench, sending a chunk of it through his face. Only, when this happens, he sits up and tells me this wasn't smart. Pulling the piece from his face, he states that Mr. Scott gets what he wants...always. This shadow beast sends me flying like a kite across the yard...and at the foot of a fellow classmates motorbike. Israel I know from my homeroom. Handsome, I guess ,but with a bit of sadness in him. He is very introverted and dislikes small talk. I've never shared more than a few words with him, but I've heard about him. I ask for a lift, which he grants upon seeing the shadow that was Mr.Scott. We get a few feet before his bike breaks down. He seems to be unfazed by this, while I'm about to lose it. The creature tries to grab us and he lashes out with his hand...only his hand turns into a blade of light which severs one of the tendrils away. I begin pushing the bike...until the engine kickstarts and gets moving. I vault onto the back of the bike and look back to see ourselves leaving the alley full of darkness behind.

Who's afraid of the science teacher?

"Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright." This is a quote I heard several times growing up. All from black and white Lon Cheney Jr. films. However, some of it is a crock.

It's been a few months since my problem last occurred. Granted, it's still there, but I've been under control. I haven't hurt anybody or their pets. I've realized that some of the stuff over the years was just myth. Silver doesn't work(my silver coin is proof of that). Gold definitely does(it still hurts where Allison's chain dug in).Not sure of the other weaknesses, but the moon isn't needed for me to change. Piss me off enough and I might though.

First day back from March Break. It's sunny and I walk with a cigarette in my hand, but theres definitely a staleness in the air. My reputation seems to have preceded me on my return, as one of the jocks on the rugby squad offered me a spot on the team. Apparently they have an opening. Eh, why not? It's a chance to make some friends, which I am in need of.

The science teacher, Mr. Scott....he smells wrong. Like something diseased. He puts his hand on my shoulder during practice and his eyes stare into mine, promising me things. But I brush him off. He tells me to ease up and says I can expect great things on the rugby team. What is he after?

In the locker room, me and Israel chatted a bit, though his blatant nudity sort of was distracting. Then two girls burst into the room. Chantelle, another girl from my class and(my heart skipped a beat) Robin. Trying to avoid staring at Israels junk, thankfully. She looked very uncomfortable to be in there. Chantelle stated that they needed our phones and they would be returned by the end of class. And, I shit you not, everyone but me and Israel handed the phones over. What the hell?

This Bites.

Okay, let's talk about it. The night this story begins for me. It was July 2013. Back where I lived in Burlington.

Life was pretty simple then. The suburbs were nice. I had friends, a life, but not enough money for high school. I had my silver coin and my very best friend. Allison. She had dirty blonde hair, a sweetness that not many people have and she...made me happy. She always wore a gold chain everywhere she went. It was something I had given her on her last birthday.

During the summer there, there was a rabid dog....or wolf....going all around the neighbourhoods. It was mauling and killing peoples pets, ripping up lawns, really sick shit. Some people though the dog was just a bunch of sickos pulling a prank or torturing the pets. Late at night, because hell knows my mom wouldn't be happy about me sneaking out. Allison and me search around and we find this dog. Only it's not a dog. Allison....got hurt. Badly hurt. And this thing bites me too. And then it runs away. Me and Allison get ourselves patched up in secret. A few days later, you know what happens. The moon shows and I run around town. Of course, with my size, the people who saw me thought I was a lion rather than a wolf(werewolf, it's still so weird to me).

Let me tell you, the change was PAINFUL. Think of your ribs expanding in your chest, every bone in your face contorting to make longer jaws and sharper teeth, your nails stretching and sharpening into clawed talons, every pore sprouting fur, your feet bending and stretching to make those clawed canine paws. But it's powerful. Really damn powerful. I could leap across rooftops, claw my way up walls, swim in extremely cold water. The only downside was hearing about it the next morning. Realizing all the animals or people you hurt for the pursuit of freedom as the wolf. You're free of your inhibitions in your wolf form, you want nothing but the hunt, the chase, the kill. I knew the best idea to follow. Find a way to lock myself in so I couldn't lash out. Hide from the world until I could control it. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who was a wolf.


 Allison had found the transformation quite similarly, only she had decided she LIKED the killing. I had always wondered if I could track down the creature that had bitten us, that it would break the curse, set us free and make us go back to the people we had been before. Allison changed. In all ways. Both sides of her were set free by the wolf. We fought in her room, first with words, then fists, then with claws. She got me a few times(I still bear the scars)but neither of us were going down. Finally, I used the only thing I could think of. The gold chain that lay on her bed. It was something she never took off, no matter what. I put it around her neck and strangled her with it. It burned my hands like acid, but I refused to let go until she changed back. Only, when she did....it was too late for me to break her curse. She lay naked, frail, dead. There was nothing left of the wolf in her.

The cops asked questions to me, but they could find nothing out. I had a record, but there was no proof and me and Allison had always been friends. So when they buried her, I cried, because I knew who was at fault. Not the beast in me, but me in the beast.

Then it came. The acceptance letter. A school in Toronto. A chance at a new life. Cash flowed in. Who from, I don't know, but I'm hoping whoever it is isn't feeling stiffed. I now go to school here and I feel...lonely most of the time. I mean, that's normal at first. Smoking is my bad habit(better than drugs or hunting the neighbourhood pets, right?) and I do it often to cut out the scents that bombard me from a hundred different sources. I can sense a lot without the smokes. But one of the girls......I can't cut out her scent. And so I've followed her around a few times, always out of sight. I know a lot about her. I shouldn't, but why can't I stop thinking about her?


Her name is Robin.