Secrets.

Chantelle gave Robin a gift and a curse. Vincents demon was removed and trapped in a cylinder, a genie in the bottle. Vincent wanted to forget and Chantelle did it. He didn't remember Robin, me, Chantelle, Israel, Robins mom. I wonder who it was crueler to. I think I know the answer.

Robins mom died last week. Robin stayed with me a few days. Its okay, I had the room and she needed someone around, but her empty stares sometimes made me unnerved. Robin went to the funeral without me. She needed the friends she had before I came in and made her life more complicated. In the school, she has been cool towards everyone. I avoided touching her, even to get her attention. Puppy love isn't something she needs, I can tell by her demeanour. Before the incidents with Vincent, I had begun to feel something with her. I'm a selfish piece of shit for wanting her now. When she asked me to help her, to train her to fight against something...like me, I did it. She's stronger than she looks. She's braver than she seems. And she's more loving than she acts. She told me not to hold back and I didn't.I bruised ribs, stung her arms and at least once cracked a bone, but she didn't call halt then. She didn't tell me stop or glare at me with hate. She only had determination in her eyes. Determination and something else. We talk about Jack, her brother, the ghost. She smiles at times when I talk about him, but its a sad smile. I listen to her story(what she chooses to tell)and give my support. I feel like she gives me little gestures that mean something special, like a touch to the arm or a little cock of the head. Once she touched my hair. Am I deluding myself? Probably. Everyone deludes themselves. Vincent deluded himself believing he will forget everything forever. Ardath deluded himself of his supposed greatness. Chantelle deludes herself thinking she can keep control of a school as fucked up as this. Israel deludes himself thinking he will be human. Robin deludes herself thinking that being alone will make her stronger. And I delude myself thinking Robin will ever care about me. But there is something else happening. Its been bothering me, like a mosquito around my ear.

Robins mother was stable. Comatose, but stable. She died with Robin in the room. Robin said she went to the bathroom and came back and the nurses were trying to stabilize her again. But the nurses told me that she rang the bell to call them in. And no matter what, I can smell something on Robin. Apprehension. Fear. Guilt. If I'm right, then she has secrets. But everyone does. I'll die a million times over before I reveal hers.